I guess I've just not experienced anything as upsetting as another GD Emergency room visit for so long. But I'm not inspired and want to take my time with my Emergency Room Visit blog.
Rant coming... please be patient, I have a lot of work (you know, which I MUST do, to obtain "insurance" so I can go broke paying for medical care) to catch up on.
17.8.09
29.4.09
You Know Who Needs A Bonus? Citibank That's Who
These Fucks. If it didn't make my [forgive the overuse of the F word here... I cannot find any other word in the English language right now. (sorry mom and dad). My entire being is filled with little text strings floating the word FUCK around in my head like a tornado] head spin, I'd dedicate pages to this Mother Humping Infuriating FUCKING nuttery.
Triple my interest rate, take $45 BILLION of our money... Yes, that's roughly $150 from every single person living in the U.S.-- more so if you happen to be the keeper of a Citibank card, dutifully doling out your Hansyibuks, ON TIME, for over 15 years, ergo MOI.
The best part?
The Treasury hasn’t made a decision on the request, which was made by Citigroup Chief Executive Vikram Pandit to Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner at a meeting earlier this month, the paper said. The amount of bonuses requested wasn’t disclosed.
Is this a tough one? Non disclosure? Why, that can only mean that they are talking about the kind of bonus I GOT this year...which really, is too menial to disclose. Right Citibank?? nudge nudge.
In closing, as I type this, gmail just popped an email from Citibank letting me in on the fact, that, in their benevolence, they are alerting me to a 25% savings at Macy's if I use my Citibank Card this Saturday! OOOOOOOOh, that almost will make up the difference of the 28% interest they are now CHARGING me on any purchases.
If my skull lands in your lap across town, I apologize for the mess. I cannot control the spinning.
Triple my interest rate, take $45 BILLION of our money... Yes, that's roughly $150 from every single person living in the U.S.-- more so if you happen to be the keeper of a Citibank card, dutifully doling out your Hansyibuks, ON TIME, for over 15 years, ergo MOI.
The best part?
The Treasury hasn’t made a decision on the request, which was made by Citigroup Chief Executive Vikram Pandit to Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner at a meeting earlier this month, the paper said. The amount of bonuses requested wasn’t disclosed.
Is this a tough one? Non disclosure? Why, that can only mean that they are talking about the kind of bonus I GOT this year...which really, is too menial to disclose. Right Citibank?? nudge nudge.
In closing, as I type this, gmail just popped an email from Citibank letting me in on the fact, that, in their benevolence, they are alerting me to a 25% savings at Macy's if I use my Citibank Card this Saturday! OOOOOOOOh, that almost will make up the difference of the 28% interest they are now CHARGING me on any purchases.
If my skull lands in your lap across town, I apologize for the mess. I cannot control the spinning.
7.4.09
The Past BreNagerie
A long long time ago, lived a mystical, mythical creature, the BreAnicorn. They were tame in nature, but very, very elusive. At times, they've been seen embodied as other creatures of the forest.
THE BREAFFE:
and even more unlikely, the BREAVER. This is a gnarly creature, given to bouts of rage and attacks on mushroom clusters. Ooooh, scary!
and last but CERTAINLY not Least, a friendly guy we ALL know... a creature that loves to steal my Vodka crans and lie in the sink ...
SCHWINGFLUFF
I know, I know... my skills are but novice... but where there's no room for improvement, they ain'z no movement!
THE BREAFFE:
and even more unlikely, the BREAVER. This is a gnarly creature, given to bouts of rage and attacks on mushroom clusters. Ooooh, scary!
and last but CERTAINLY not Least, a friendly guy we ALL know... a creature that loves to steal my Vodka crans and lie in the sink ...
SCHWINGFLUFF
I know, I know... my skills are but novice... but where there's no room for improvement, they ain'z no movement!
29.1.09
Why I Love Nerds p. Deux
I love CNN...
Construction signs warn of zombies Hackers change public safety message
Last Edited: Thursday, 29 Jan 2009, 8:34 AM CST
Created On: Wednesday, 28 Jan 2009, 8:29 PM CST
* Shannon Wolfson
AUSTIN (KXAN) - Austin drivers making their morning commute were in for a surprise when two road signs on a busy stretch of road were taken over by hackers. The signs near the intersection of Lamar and Martin Luther King boulevards usually warn drivers about upcoming construction, but Monday morning they warned of "zombies ahead."
Joey... birthday hint... HACK!
Construction signs warn of zombies Hackers change public safety message
Last Edited: Thursday, 29 Jan 2009, 8:34 AM CST
Created On: Wednesday, 28 Jan 2009, 8:29 PM CST
* Shannon Wolfson
AUSTIN (KXAN) - Austin drivers making their morning commute were in for a surprise when two road signs on a busy stretch of road were taken over by hackers. The signs near the intersection of Lamar and Martin Luther King boulevards usually warn drivers about upcoming construction, but Monday morning they warned of "zombies ahead."
Joey... birthday hint... HACK!
6.1.09
At Least You HAVE A Job Blah Blah Blah...
I'm torn between lamenting recent circumstance for the next few paragraphs or worrying I'll be flooded with do-gooders and unemployed hippies telling me that I'm lucky to have a house and food on the table. Fuck you hippies, i need to gripe a bit. Here's my short list:
THE BAD:
I've lost more than half of my retirement. This pushes me back about 20 years worth of hard work. Thanks W.
Wells Fargo would rather take a $140k hit than accept a cash sale on my house-naturally while they're holding their hands out for a stake in the 700 BILLION bailout money. I officially am not going to get a checking account there now, with or without that stupid, free carnival horse stuffed-animal they're giving away.
I'm officially fat. I've never been fat. I'm lazy and I love cheese. I have little nudity cringes now every morning. Ahhh! What is that? oh great, that's MY ass... wonderful. More than that, I have no excuse.
Friday, I'm having another adventure in chick surgery. Nothing screams sexy on a Friday night like a giant maxi pad to sleep on. Thanks, abnormal cells... next time you wanna party, I'm gonna radiate the fuck out of you, sans warning bell.
Ok, so as not to piss off every self righteous, uptown-living neighbor of mine, here's the good.
THE GOOD:
I have a job.
I have a boyfriend who, despite being less than, uh... tidy- has the good sense to afford me some indulgences. For example, when I ask him to hide the cashews from Fatty McFatterson... he'll gladly, without objection, pull them down from their hiding spot for me to snack on. He's a smart man.
I have the coolest new flat. It's not an apartment, it's a flat .. there's nothing "apart" about it. It's small and VERY near everyone. But it's fantastic.
My extra 18 lbs has bestowed me with a boob upgrade. Welcome the 34D's people!
And best of the good ... I have these:
THE BAD:
I've lost more than half of my retirement. This pushes me back about 20 years worth of hard work. Thanks W.
Wells Fargo would rather take a $140k hit than accept a cash sale on my house-naturally while they're holding their hands out for a stake in the 700 BILLION bailout money. I officially am not going to get a checking account there now, with or without that stupid, free carnival horse stuffed-animal they're giving away.
I'm officially fat. I've never been fat. I'm lazy and I love cheese. I have little nudity cringes now every morning. Ahhh! What is that? oh great, that's MY ass... wonderful. More than that, I have no excuse.
Friday, I'm having another adventure in chick surgery. Nothing screams sexy on a Friday night like a giant maxi pad to sleep on. Thanks, abnormal cells... next time you wanna party, I'm gonna radiate the fuck out of you, sans warning bell.
Ok, so as not to piss off every self righteous, uptown-living neighbor of mine, here's the good.
THE GOOD:
I have a job.
I have a boyfriend who, despite being less than, uh... tidy- has the good sense to afford me some indulgences. For example, when I ask him to hide the cashews from Fatty McFatterson... he'll gladly, without objection, pull them down from their hiding spot for me to snack on. He's a smart man.
I have the coolest new flat. It's not an apartment, it's a flat .. there's nothing "apart" about it. It's small and VERY near everyone. But it's fantastic.
My extra 18 lbs has bestowed me with a boob upgrade. Welcome the 34D's people!
And best of the good ... I have these:
22.12.08
Christmas Comes Early...
Not because I begged to see my prezzie. Not because I was sick. Not because I make the best Eggies in the planet but because SOMEBODY was so excited he was gonna wet himself if he had to wait one more second to show me that he wasn't dense. Frankly, I was nervous. My history with Christmas man-gifts have thus far been fodder for comedy and heartbreak.
I did have these hints: a) it doesn't have a cord b) it will not assist with anything cooking or cleaning c) won't give me the closest shave; or d) isn't wearable.
Good so far, but I'm still convinced a guy can find a way to offend a girl by the simple act of giving. But my present was there under the dingy comforter on the couch (Boy gift wrap) with a boy who had whipped himself into a gift-giving frenzy, the likes of which haven't been seen since, well I've never seen it really. So I had to go for it. Close my eyes. Rip off the band-aid.
Peeps: I give you Man Gift 2008.
It's a new Merimekko! Best prezzie since Electronic Battleship, circa 1979. And I love this man. And he shall be rewarded for months to come ;)
I did have these hints: a) it doesn't have a cord b) it will not assist with anything cooking or cleaning c) won't give me the closest shave; or d) isn't wearable.
Good so far, but I'm still convinced a guy can find a way to offend a girl by the simple act of giving. But my present was there under the dingy comforter on the couch (Boy gift wrap) with a boy who had whipped himself into a gift-giving frenzy, the likes of which haven't been seen since, well I've never seen it really. So I had to go for it. Close my eyes. Rip off the band-aid.
Peeps: I give you Man Gift 2008.
It's a new Merimekko! Best prezzie since Electronic Battleship, circa 1979. And I love this man. And he shall be rewarded for months to come ;)
12.12.08
3.12.08
Where's Waldo, nee Hanson
Well I've moved. Moving is hard. As in when did I get so fat? What the Fuck Bacon? I thought we were friends.
Anyhoo... new info and pics coming. Plus! Bonus, leftover pizza.
Anyhoo... new info and pics coming. Plus! Bonus, leftover pizza.
23.10.08
Ideas
I'm setting up a new section called "Ideas."
Doublepecker bus.
Talk amongst yourselves. Oh and if anybody could come up with a graphic, that'd be great.
Doublepecker bus.
Talk amongst yourselves. Oh and if anybody could come up with a graphic, that'd be great.
10.10.08
ABGEHAUEN
Ich beabsichtigte nicht, du zu belagern. Ich kannte nicht einen anderen Weg. Ich bitte nur, aber den ich denke, dass du weisst. Wenn ich mindestens schreie, Ich schätze dass du es richtig sagten.
Und... alle wissen das wir zusammen sind so gut, aber dein Zorn sagen mehr als Worte.
Ich brauche einfach zwei Arme.
Und... alle wissen das wir zusammen sind so gut, aber dein Zorn sagen mehr als Worte.
Ich brauche einfach zwei Arme.
2.10.08
What the fuck Phizer?
Generally, big marketing firms and ad agencies do polls, research, etc. to come up with the best time to air commercials for thier "target" market. That being said, I've come up with the following conclusion:
Baseball fans have problems getting it up.
And moreover, nothing says aawwwkward more than watching a commercial about Erectile Dysfunction every 7 minutes while watching baseball with your boyfriend. Seriously. Thanks assholes. I'm finding new reasons to stay at my own house to watch the playoffs to avoid the inevitable "I don't fuckin need Viagra, check THIS out" routine. My vagina does NOT need you, or your ill-fated marketing ploy.
Baseball fans have problems getting it up.
And moreover, nothing says aawwwkward more than watching a commercial about Erectile Dysfunction every 7 minutes while watching baseball with your boyfriend. Seriously. Thanks assholes. I'm finding new reasons to stay at my own house to watch the playoffs to avoid the inevitable "I don't fuckin need Viagra, check THIS out" routine. My vagina does NOT need you, or your ill-fated marketing ploy.
1.10.08
October 1. List.
1) I want to be BatMantis this year for Halloween. Make it so.
I'm Batmantis, you want a piece of me PUNK?
2) Heat was turned on this morning. 61 degree-glass-cutting-nipples... averted.
3) Twins. Well? Cripe.
4) did you know that over two months ago I cut my hair? Cause I did. See Kitty Kat, you can do it, did you do it? Wait, that's all three my girls, we ALL cut our hair. I was the last hold out. Check me out, being violated by Foam Finger and French Fries.
5) Speaking of Violation. I'd like to head back to Violation Station. Bathe me and bring me to it.
I'm Batmantis, you want a piece of me PUNK?
2) Heat was turned on this morning. 61 degree-glass-cutting-nipples... averted.
3) Twins. Well? Cripe.
4) did you know that over two months ago I cut my hair? Cause I did. See Kitty Kat, you can do it, did you do it? Wait, that's all three my girls, we ALL cut our hair. I was the last hold out. Check me out, being violated by Foam Finger and French Fries.
5) Speaking of Violation. I'd like to head back to Violation Station. Bathe me and bring me to it.
12.9.08
24 Hours
1) Took a Percocet (Wee!)
2) Commence weird dream about being married to Christopher from the Sopranos.
3) Struggle to get out of bed, wanted to get back to me being killed by dream husband who was kicking me in the head.
4) Wake up late.
5) Hit the highway
6) see this in the right lane.
7) Walk with Scott... talk a lot about Scott.
8) Write song about my Belly
9) Decide I have the worst hair ever. Call Juut for rescue.
10) Decide I'm fat as Fuck in these jeans and they may be a little to bell-bottomy to accentuate my growing Ass-gantic Ass.
2) Commence weird dream about being married to Christopher from the Sopranos.
3) Struggle to get out of bed, wanted to get back to me being killed by dream husband who was kicking me in the head.
4) Wake up late.
5) Hit the highway
6) see this in the right lane.
7) Walk with Scott... talk a lot about Scott.
8) Write song about my Belly
9) Decide I have the worst hair ever. Call Juut for rescue.
10) Decide I'm fat as Fuck in these jeans and they may be a little to bell-bottomy to accentuate my growing Ass-gantic Ass.
4.9.08
I'm In
If I die in some police-state related incident... Ed, you can have my couch. Breanne, you can say "I told you so" and Kim... well you're fucked.
Heather, the booze is yours.
Joey... i have some towels you might like.
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